Where were you.....

....8 years ago today. Do you remember where you were? Exactly what you were doing when the worlds most horrific terrorist attack was to hit mankind? I do. And I'll never forget.

I was on my computer chatting to a friend when my then partner ran upstairs and said "omg a plane has just gone into the world trade center" He then proceeded to draw me a picture of what he had just seen on tv. He then when back downstairs and within seconds ran up again to say "omg another has just gone in. It cannot be a tragic accident. It has to be terrorists". I then told my friend Janine to turn on the tv. She was in Chicago and it was strange that I in the UK was to find out before she was. It didn't hit me at first. I didn't "click" on that they were passenger planes. I thought it was "just" a single pilot crashing into a building. I thought maybe 10 people would die. This of course is bad in itself but the reality didn't hit me until about 10minutes later when I went to watch it on the tv and I just felt like I had been hit in the stomach.

The thought that nearly 800 people could be dead made me feel so sad. Scared. And sickened.

I proceeded to talk on aol and to watch the news. My partner went to get the children from school and I was left alone. The plane then went into the Pentagon. I have never felt so alone and scared as I did then. Thoughts were boggling through my head. What on earth was going to happen next. Is the UK next. Are we going to live this night through? I was a layperson in the UK. What on earth were Americans feeling at this point?

I couldn't watch tv without feeling sick. The images of the people jumping from the building haunt me to this very day. How bad was it that jumping to their death was a better alternative?

I was in the chat room on Aol and each time an online friend signed on I felt relief. Barbara my dear friend in NY hadn't signed on. My heart was in my mouth. Barb is like a sister to me. She eventually signed on and I cried with relief. The same goes for Randie and Dee. To just see their font gave me such an overwhelming relief.

Then Jessie signed on. Her ex husband had gone to help out and had gone missing. He never came home. She was distraught. Even though she was no longer with her husband they were still friends. We prayed and prayed. But he never returned.

Several more regular chatters and friends came into the room that night and several more had lost friends or family.

That night I got both my boys and put them in my bed. I prayed to God that nothing would happen that night. I told both boys I loved them with all my heart and slept holding them tight.

I am still to this day haunted. I have memorials around my house. Up until the 5th anniversary I hung a USA flag outside my house ever year on 9/11.

I was lucky enough, thanks to my Nanna, to visit USA on July 4th week 2002. A year after it had happened. I stayed with Barbara and we visited ground zero and it was no more than a clean building site. But it was eerie. We had parked the other end of Manhatten and even to a local person it can get a bit confusing and we got a disorientated and couldn't find ground zero. We got close and all of us got goose bumps on our arms and we all, including myself who had never set foot in Manhatten before, said it's this way and pointed. And we all went in the correct direction. It was quiet. It was as if Manhatten had stood still at that point and no other sound could get in. It was as if as you got close Manhatten was giving it's own respect to the dead by blocking out the traffic noise and for anyone that's been to Manhatten will know it is a noisy place! I laid some flowers down and said a prayer. And cried. I sobbed. For the people who died and more so their family's and friends who had to deal with the aftermath. I thanked god for the hero's who fought that day.




















And I thanked God I was alive.